Now, it's about clothes, electronic gadgets, discussions about the next presidential election and as for the cuddling thing, well, he's twice my size. He would have to cuddle me instead of the other way around. It all seems so awkward. My oldest son lives on his own, number two is heading out the door to college and now this. Stop the world! Okay, then could we just slow it down a little?
Tonight we had the all important talk about social networking. You know, the talk we now have to have with our kids before we talk about sex and the perils of drugs and alcohol. You would think we were briefing on a matter of national security. I'm exhausted.
I gave him the top 5 things to be careful of when surfing the web and chatting on line according to Mom:
1. If it feels icky, it is. If anyone or anything pops up that makes you feel uncomfortable, get out. Trust your instincts. If your gut tells you that you probably shouldn't be there, don't. If you wouldn't show it to your Mom, don't go there. Get out and don't return. Then come tell a trusted adult so that we can make sure you have no residual effects from wherever you may have accidentally landed or any unwanted communications. That's what we are here for.
2. There is no such thing as something for nothing. Don't trust anything offering you something for free. 99.9% of the time it's a trick to get you to do something you never really wanted to do in the first place. Exit it out and move on.
3. If you wouldn't say it to their face, don't say it. The scariest thing about social networks, and the web in general, is the anonymity of it all. Think before you type. If you wouldn't say it to the person's face it is always best NOT to say it. Keep in mind that the person reading what you wrote cannot hear you or see your face. They cannot adjust your words for tone and intent. What you may have intended to be a playful statement may be construed as a threat or hurt someone's feelings. When in doubt, ask an adult you trust.
4. Give it rest, go out and really talk to people. Sometimes I think this one should go without saying but I often find myself saying it anyway. Nothing can replace face to face human interaction. Get out of our chair, go outside and play. You may be older but you are certainly not too old to enjoy the company of friends. I don't think you are ever too old for that.
5. Don't believe everything you read. Just because you see it in print doesn't mean it's gospel. Feel free to go to a trusted adult (are you seeing a reoccuring theme here?) and ask. Remember when you read online that one of your favorite singers had died? Nothing could have been further from the truth, yet the web was telling you it was so. You came to me, we searched in places that I trust and discovered that you were the victim of a terrible rumor. You were so relieved when you discovered the truth. This problem is likely to rear its ugly head time and time again in your future. Don't jump to conclusions . . . ask.
As the evening progressed I watched him delight in all of these new "big boy" priviledges and held onto my heart as he exclaimed that this has been the "best birthday ever!" Which is, of course, all I ever really wanted for him.
He deserves the opportunity to grow up whether I am ready or not. He's a good boy. He is kind to everyone he meets. He is respectful, hardworking and adores his family. I just have to trust that as good as he is to the world, the world will also be good to him. I just need him to know that I will always be here to help him navigate through it all.
So consider this a warning World. Be good to my boy . . . or else!
